It’s been just over a week since I got the news that this round had failed and I want to say a huge thank you to anyone who has sent a message checking in to see how I’m doing.
I’ve been back at work this week and that kept me fairly busy but I have had some weepy moments when talking or thinking about things too much. Mainly because I am feeling pretty much that I’ve had my shot at this with my own eggs (mainly because of the financial cost [approx £7k for this round!!!] balanced out with the percentage likelihood of it working). But I have no real news to share because really I’m just in limbo waiting for my follow up appointment on 16th July to see if my consultant can give me an update on what exactly happened and how this affects my chances.
I have not been good with food since – at all. I ended up not going to my Slimming World group this week as I had had enough of talking to/crying at people about all this in the day. I thought of it as self preservation of tear ducts. Instead I ordered pizza which I did regret. I really haven’t been bothered to cook. Although I wasn’t in much pain immediately after egg Collection on either the Wednesday or Thursday I had stabbing pain on my right abdomen and back Friday and Saturday. This pain has receded since but definitely worsens or comes back a little when bloated or constipated. Pizza did not help that fact. Back to group on Monday to face the scales and hopefully crack back on.
My period appeared yesterday – which obviously I knew would happen but actually having it arrive is more disappointing than usual. Really hoping it’s not as bad as last month’s – although at least I can take tranmexic acid this time which helps manage heavy bleeding. I can’t help debating if I would prefer to be in the midst of the two week wait and it appear but I think having things fail before was probably a blessing.
I have made the difficult decision to put in a complaint to the clinic about the mix up with the embryologist. This mistake did make this more traumatic and I just want to make sure they review things so it doesn’t happen to anyone else. It won’t change anything for me but part of me sharing is the hopes that I can help someone else.
One discovery I made was that I really couldn’t cope without my antihistamines – at least at this time of year – and I’ve still been a sneezing wreck even taking them. I’ll need to arrange an appointment with my GP to review the safety of those medications during IVF/Pregnancy and to see if there are any alternatives.
I’ve had some comments that have said that I’m brave in sharing but that’s not how I see it. For me writing is a way of helping me to make sense of things. It’s a form of self care. It was more odd at the very start of the process where I wasn’t sharing.
For me women who go through this keeping everything to themselves are the brave ones. But really we all do what we must to survive.
I’ll be back around the 16th to share my next steps. In the meantime there will be boo reviews again.
Yes, I know I look, and act, waaaaay too young to be turning 40 in 2018 but I am! I’m not making New Years resolutions but I will be trying to practice better self care, and I am setting myself two ’40’ challenges.
40 Special Things to do for my 40th Year
1. See Dreamgirls
2. See School of Rock
3. Harry Potter studio tour solo trip
4. See Sunset Boulevard
5. Harry Potter exhibit at Poole Library
6. Pierce Brown tour
7. See Cursed Child again with Cath
8. Be Bridesmaid for my sister and do all the hen do fun
9. Blood Brothers musical theatre workshop
10. See Hamilton
11. See Sarah Millican again
12. Go to YALC again
13. New Forest Fairy Festival
14. See Cursed Child again on my actual 40th birthday!!!!
15. Fab and Forty Cake Smash Photo Shoot with besties
16. Visit Prague
17. Harry Potter Studio Tour Halloween
Undated/Dates to be confirmed
18. Read 150+ books again including but not limited to Obsidio, Nevernight Book 3, LIFELIK3, Iron Gold, Dark Age, State of Sorrow, Vengeful, A Court of Frost and Starlight, TOG 7, Queen of Air and Darkness, The Witch’s Blood and #40YRS40BKS Reading Challenge (see below)
19. Reading weekend with Elizabeth and Rachel (to help with above)
20. Finish first draft of middle grade book
21. Complete a polished copy of a novel
22. Submit above novel to Agents
23. Self Publish some Poetry
24. Make excellent use of My cineworld unlimited card (see at least 40 films)
25. Watch a sunrise
26. Watch a sunset
27. Do a bat thing with Steph
28. Go to Chained Library at Wimborne with Stacey
29. Weekend in Cornwall with the family
30. Cornwall Boscastle Museum of Witchcraft and Magic
31. Bounce Below
32. Actually sit out in garden in summer (i.e. de weed and sort garden) and have birthday BBQ
33. Host Harry Potter Quiz (for Charity)
34. Complete bookcase quilt
35. Make Seraphina Picquery Cosplay
36. Make Hogwarts model for front garden
37. Make a thestral model
38. Make Knight Bus model (3D puzzle now)
39. Host a craftivist event
40. Daily Happiness Journal (to have a lasting memory of the year)
#40YRS40BKS Reading Challenge
A number of my booksy besties all turn the big 40 over the next year so we’ve come up with a #readingchallenge between us that we’d love people to join in with. The rules are simple. There are 40 reading prompts – 10 each from 4 of us. During 2018 you just have to make sure what you read adds a tick against all 40 prompts. Personally I’ll be aiming for 40 separate books but you can count one book for multiple prompts if you like. Now go forth, read and help us celebrate. @kirstyes @catrad @svmitche @jkkenobi (Also feel free to substitute bookstagram for any online forum).
My other booksy aim for this year is to be a lot more on top of my reviews.
What’s on your list of things to achieve/experience/live/do this year?