My third chapter is my favourite (inspired by semi-autobiographical facts) – Beautification Bewitchment in Basic Hexes for the Busy and Vexed [This should be viewed as Harry Potter fan fiction].
This hex is for the witch or wizard who prefers the comfort of their night robes and likes to spend an extra few minutes snoozing their owl alarm in the morning.
Do you need to present an outwardly immaculate appearance?
Want the skills of a Metamorphmagus but not born with that ability?
Yes there are ointments and potions available for defrizzing hair, make-up applying wands and even an on-body clothes iron. But really who has time for that?
Instead use the Bewitching Beautification Hex and turn up for work in your nightrobes with morning hair, but to others look like the most enchanting person ever.
How to Perform the Hex
The good news is that you perform this hex on yourself before leaving the house and then for the amount of time you specify everyone who looks at you will be hexed. You do need to make sure you allow at least two minutes before you leave the house to perform the relevant wand motions and speak the incantation.
Step 1. Stand upright with the best posture you can muster (don’t worry you can slouch later – the bewitchment will remember and evoke this posture for the rest of the day though).
Step 2. Hold your wand in your non-dominant wand hand and wave it anti-clockwise around the top of your head three times repeating the words Beautification Bewitchment for each rotation.
Step 3. Relax your arm and speak the incantation below naming the length of time that you wish the hex to last for (up to a maximum of 24 hours) where I have written time needed.
They say you snooze you lose
But that’s not true
Now I’ve put this hex on you
My beautification bewitchment
Means all that see
See the perfect form of a perfect me
For the next (time needed)
If at me you glance
You’ll be under my beautification trance
Step 4. Hold the wand in your dominant hand and wave it clockwise around the top of your head three times repeating the words Beautification Bewitchment for each rotation.
Step 5. Check the effects by looking in a mirror.
Step 6. Go and face the world confident that you look fabulous.
Overuse of this Hex can make those around you start to feel completely inadequate and may induce in them tears and frequent mirror visitations.
Hex may wear off if you boast too much.
Hex only applied after the first glance so people will see your natural state for a second.
It is best to wear shoes or hard soled slippers because this hex does not prevent lego (a notoriously painful muggle toy) on the floor injuries.
Hex is not effective on cameras or videos!
Next up a slightly more serious chapter (although with apologies to Doreen Virtue for revealing her true identity ;o))- Angel/Oracle cards from Unfogging the Future by Cassandra Vablatsky [This should be viewed as Harry Potter fan fiction].
Like Tarot, using Angel Cards to unfog the future means selecting from a pack of cards to find an answer to your question.
Angel and Oracle cards can be credited to Doreen Virtue. Muggles know her as a clairvoyent psychologist but we in the wizarding world know differently. Although muggle-born Doreen received her letter to West Coast School for Wizards and Witches in Training when she was eleven. She had a nasty incident with some dementors in 1995, and vowed to share the power of the patronus with muggles (she was with her muggle family at the time who couldn’t conjure their own).
Working closely with the Ministry of Magic in the USA, Canada and the UK she translated the idea of the patronus into boxes of Angel or Oracle cards in order to comply with the Statute of Secrecy. Some wizards and witches have found these useful too in times of emotional turmoil or when facing life transitions such as graduation, change of job, new relationships, becoming a parent etc.
These cards represent guardians who can help you realise an inner peace and seek support with dealing with the present and planning for the future.
They are used in a similar way to the Tarot – each box of cards is slightly different and will have its own incantations and messages but the basic steps are the same.
Step 1 – Preparation
Clear away old energy by holding the deck in your non-dominant hand and by tapping on the deck with your dominant hand.
Touch each card quickly then spread the cards out in a fan, hold the fan to your heart and ask your relevant guardian for help with the reading.
Step 2 – Shuffle the Cards
Mix the cards into a new order making sure the backs are showing on the same side.
Step 3 – Ask a Question
Ask a question/questions whilst shuffling, if any cards jump out keep them to one side and use them in your reading. Ask for guidance to know when to stop shuffling.
Step 4 – Lay out the Cards
Ask the guardians how many cards to select, take this number from the top of the deck. Lay each card in turn face up, placing each to the right of the previously placed card. (Sometimes you will fan the cards again and select cards from anywhere in the pack that feels right.
Step 5 – Read and Look At the Cards
Each card generally has pictures and words – take note of them. The accompanying guidebook also has further details on the meaning of the cards. Think about the questions you asked when reading the meanings and listen to your feelings.
Wizards and witches using the cards may find that casting their patronus before the reading gives a more accurate response from the cards.
Angel Therapy Website
Doreen Virtue – Magical Unicorns Oracle Cards – 44 Card Deck and Guidebook (sponsored link)
The first of the textbook chapters I’m going to share with you is ‘Creating a Love Nest’ from Dragon Breeding for Pleasure and Profit [This should be viewed as Harry Potter fan fiction].
Creating a Love Nest
Breeding dragons requires a male dragon and a female dragon to become intimate with one another. Now as a breeder you don’t really need to know the details of this intimacy – if there are any problems it is best to call in the assistance of an experienced dragon veterinary sexpert.
Your role is to create the perfect love nest and this chapter outlines how.
Male dragons and female dragons although both the same species are very different when it comes to their requirements and preferred environments. I’ve outlined these differences below.
• Males like a cool environment, while female dragons tend to feel the chill and like to create a nice roasting fire.
• Males like a sparse environment with only what is needed on display, females like to have pretty flowers, twigs and shiny treasures decorating the nest.
• Males like solid, firm flooring, females prefer something softer which allows for gathering for further warming.
• Males like basic colours: green and brown, females like to see a bit of variety with yellows and reds being a firm favourite (this makes dragon breeding season autumn).
So, how do you create the perfect love nest? Well lady dragons are the dominant of the species so make the nest to fit her specifications and the male dragon will have to make do with a window to stick his head out of to cool down. You’ll make him his own nest to his requirements but the female dragon’s nest will be bigger and it will be where the breeding happens. That is just how it is.
If you want high quality dragon eggs make the female’s nest as glittery as you can – add gold, silver and precious jewels, The more of these you dot round the floor, walls and ceilings the stronger the offspring. Tests have been conducted on average flame distance and the only consistent variable, in ensuring this was as destructive as possible, was bling.