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About the Book

Phoebe is autistic. She prefers to stay in her comfort zone: walking her dog, writing fantasy fiction, surviving school with as few incidents as possible.

When her best (and only) friend rebels and gets a secret boyfriend, Phoebe reluctantly agrees to cover for her. Before long, Phoebe’s dealing with all sorts of things she’d rather not, like deception, fashionable jackets, and the bewildering politics of the school chess club. Breaking the rules has never been Phoebe’s thing, but as events take a seriously unexpected turn, she realises there’s more to her than she ever imagined . . .

(Please note at the end of my review I have added some trigger warnings but some may be considered spoilers) 

About the Author

Gavin Extence was born in 1982 and grew up in the interestingly named village of Swineshead, Lincolnshire. From the ages of 5-11, he enjoyed a brief but illustrious career as a chess player, winning numerous national championships and travelling to Moscow and St Petersburg to pit his wits against the finest young minds in Russia. He won only one game.

Gavin is currently working on his second novel. When he is not writing, he enjoys cooking, amateur astronomy and going to Alton Towers.

Twitter: http://twitter.com/gavinextence 

 

What I Thought

First up I loved Phoebe’s voice. Her character practically leaps off the page, after slowly and methodically planning the leap of course!

Phoebe is autistic and in the author’s acknowledgment at the end he tells us he wrote this book for his autistic daughter. I would love to read some reviews from #actuallyautistic readers to see how they viewed the representation but I felt it was  nuanced and respectful.

Phoebe is a very forthright character and I really enjoyed how we see her using tools at home to self regulate and how she already knows and understands both her autism and her own needs. She likes a routine, she likes things to be logical and she doesn’t always understand what people mean but that doesn’t make her naive or inept, it makes her thoughtful and analytical. She knows when she doesn’t get something and this does become a source of concern for her at times. 

Phoebe also knows her own mind, she knows what she wants out of life but she does go through a slightly misguided period of creating her own social improvement plan. Sometimes the plan helps, sometimes it doesn’t, but it does introduce chess club to her life so she doesn’t just have to play against her phone (although I think she finds that preferable to be honest). 

Of course there are a few arguments between her and her best friend Bethany when Phoebe doesn’t catch on as quickly to what is going on with Bethany (they are teenage girls after all). But on the whole I think Bethany is an example of a good friend who accepts and respects Phoebe for who she is, as Phoebe does in return for her. It feels like very much a reciprocal friendship. 

Phoebe’s relationship with Bethany is one of the stable things in her routine – that is until Will comes along to rock the boat. And boy does he make the sea choppy. There was a scene toward the end that surprised me at the time although when thinking back the author had added subtle cues to this development. I also both did and didn’t enjoy Phoebe’s interactions with Bethany’s very religious parents and admire her later interactions with them in trying to be a good friend and make Bethany’s life better. 

Phoebe narrates the book to her mum who has died, and who also had ME while she was alive, and this adds a nuance that Phoebe is also facing all these challenges growing up without a female figure to guide her, although she still has a very supportive dad. During the book Phoebe and her friend are in the last year of GCSEs and have to do work experience. Phoebe wants to be a writer and manages to arrange some time with the small town’s reclusive poet. There was definitely some humour in these scenes and although used as a mentor figure, Mrs Frost (also autistic coded) is most definitely not a mother figure. I also enjoyed all the bookish references and it turn out I have very similar taste to Phoebe and have added a couple more books to my TBR as a result. 

Boys aren’t the only thing that disrupt Phoebe’s worldview and I’m glad that this meant we got a chance to meet her grandmother as early mentions of her had me liking her and wanting to know more about their relationship. 

“Furthermore, it turned out that I could cope in a crisis, just as long as it wasn’t my crisis.” 

I related to this quote so hard although I think Phoebe actually handled her own crisis better than I would – I would just sit in a corner and sob even at nearly 45! 

The setting of the book was so interesting too. They live in a small island town of 160 which sometimes gets cut off with the tide from where they go to school and so Bethany and Phoebe board together at the school part time. No Malory Towers style midnight feasts here although a late night sneaking out does occur.  

Overall I found this thought provoking, warm and a wonderful exploration of teen female friendship. If you read this I think that like Bethany, you’d come to realise – who wouldn’t want a Phoebe in their corner?

Trigger Warnings Below (May Be Considered Spoilers)

Teen Pregnancy and Abortion, Death of a Parent, Cancer, Ableism, Homophobia, Extra marital affair, Religious Trauma, Loss of Faith

Huge thanks to Bee at Kaleidoscopic Tours and the Publisher Anderson Press for the gifted copy. This review is my honest opinion. Do check out the rest of the tour stops to see what everyone else thought too.